Envy the penis no more – the cultural answer to the coveted ability of peeing while standing

It hit me the last time I went to the ladies´room: we have no reason to envy man´s ability to urinate while standing. Yes, although we do not share in this extremely practical possibility — at least not without some stretching and some strong thighs — we have culturally made up for this biological disbalance, and I now believe we have in fact an important advantage in the excrementing area at large.

We, the ladies, wear dresses and skirts. And while I recognize the fact that some men do occasionally wear skirts — and they may even do that without necessarily falling into the homosexual or exceedingly artistical varieties, as our vetust Prince Charles clearly demonstrates — most men do not, and will not. And that, my girlfriends, is a socio-cultural trait developed to our supreme advantage — particularly when it comes to the penis envying matter.

Although it is more comfortable for women to sit down to do their things — and let us be reminded of the fact that man do have to do it as well for you know, a portion of their excrementing activities — the skirts and dresses expedite immensely our time in the stools. No zippers or heavy jeans involved — only a feeble piece of undergarment on our ways. We do not need to concern ourselves with the cleanliness of the floors versus the pants dragging around our feet when we just lift up our skirts and keep our clothes away from the dirt — think public facilities in winter days: as clean as they might be, the blend of wet snow and shoe soles always results in muddled rooms (of course, in  days such as these you may not be bare legged as it should be cold as hell, but my point was to illustrate that restroom floors may also be dirty as a result of a process unrelated to the activities performed in there).

So there, there. We have constructed such amazing response to our supposed anatomic disadvantage and have not even noticed. Such a sense of modesty we ladies have. Free your genitals, my girls — surround them with flowy skirts and enjoy the amazing advantages of femininity.

P.S.: I promise I´ll give you a break on scatological remarks such as these for a long time — perhaps infinity. It’s just that this insight seemed too groundbreaking not to be shared solely due to its poor taste.


2 Comments to “Envy the penis no more – the cultural answer to the coveted ability of peeing while standing”

  1. “Perhaps infinity” hahaah love it.

    What a well-written, and thought-provoking cultural analysis. My initial response is to argue – to say something citing the limiting nature of skirts/dresses in the past and the liberating effect of pants on the female species.

    But I think there’s something to be said for embracing that which our genitals may have prompted. If nothing else – I love that we have the option to decide which – pants or skirts – to wear, whereas men aren’t faced with the same degree of agency (if they desire to remain somewhat in the sphere of cultural acceptance).

    Cool blog.


  2. I guess that´s pretty much it — I somehow do tackle this matter as well in my previous post, what you have quite simply and accurately described as the fact that they are not faced with the same degree of agency when it comes to style. 🙂

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